im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu
mary had a little lamb
little lamb
little lamb
mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was swag as fuck
(Source: shavingryansprivates)
imagine if trees gave off wifi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we’d probably save the planet too
too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe
what did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe
mitosis
i want to die
omfg today in English class we were talking about reading books and some girl shouts ”BOOKS SUCK” and the quietest girl in my class says ”yeah almost as much as you do on the weekends” even the teacher laughed omfg